Joseph Cianciotto: The Toolbox for Good Parenting

 

Joseph Cianciotto: How Can You Discipline Without Spanking

One discipline tool that many of our parents relied on is spanking. Research has shown us that it doesn't work and is bad for children. Sometimes parenting breaks down, notes Joseph Cianciotto. When this happens, parents need a parenting toolbox - one that has several options for raising healthy kids.

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Understand normal child development. Understanding normal child development is the foundation for effective parenting. The growth and development of children include physical changes, emotions, personality, behavior, thinking, and the way children interact with the world around them.

Redirect the child. Redirection is an effective technique many parents use to teach children appropriate behavior. Parents can use this technique to prevent personal injury, reduce punishing interactions, encourage desirable behavior, and inspire curiosity and exploration. Redirection includes both verbal and physical redirection.

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Ignore inappropriate behavior. Giving attention to behavior is a very powerful thing. Many parents get caught up in a negative loop by only interacting with their children when they are misbehaving. Giving attention to the very behavior you are trying to stop is counterproductive. It sounds counterintuitive, but if parents ignore inappropriate behavior, it will begin to fade away, notes Joseph Cianciotto. Children love attention, so catch them being good. In other words, reward the behaviors you want to see.

Catch your children being good. It is the most important tool in your parent toolbox. Make it a habit to give positive reinforcement for the behavior you want to see in your children. Reinforce immediately and reward improvement. Rewards come in several forms: attention, activities, toys, or a simple pat on the back. Each child responds differently to positive reinforcement. Find out which type of positive reinforcement works best for your child.

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